Vonchris seiter
Updated June 9, 2021
Making your ex miss you is a big part of trying to win him back (assuming that's what you're after). A few weeks ago, atraining clientmine asked a very interesting question,
Chris, I realize the no contact rule is designed to do that.help your ex miss youbut is there anything else I can do to increase the chances of this happening?
That's a great question!
In fact, it was so good that I decided to write a whole post about it.
That is what this article is about. I'll show you three things you can dobesides the confinementso you can make sure you do everything you can to make your ex miss you.
What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back?
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The 3 most effective ways to make your ex miss you without contact
Before starting to write each article on this website, he goes through a pretty intense research process.
Usually I make some hypotheses and try to prove or disprove them. I'm a big believer in using research, so over time we can guarantee that we'll get to the bottom of the best method of getting an ex back.
Still, when it came time to look for the most effective ways to make an ex miss you during a no contact rule, only three strategies made the cut.
- Stay disciplined and really end the lockdown
- Make your ex think they have lost you forever
- Use subliminal messages
What I want to do now is take a deeper look at how you need to use these three strategies.
1. Stay disciplined and end the no contact rule
I was planning to give a big speech on this because it's something I keep digging into over and over again.my programbut I thought before I start I probably need a quick introduction to what the no contact rule really is.
In short, the no contact rule is a specific strategy that you employ when you are trying to win your ex back. Basically, you intentionally ignore your ex for a period of time with the intention of making them miss you.
Havemuch written about itand even wrote oneAll the bookabout it
Oh, I even made a lot of videos about it.
(If these things don't teach you about the no contact rule, I don't know what will.)
Of course, I am not writing this section to explain the no contact rule. Instead, I want to talk to you about the people who are breaking the no contact rule.
In my experience about 80% of thethe clientI work with ultimately failing due to the no contact rule.
Just so we're speaking the same language, when I talk about "breaking the no contact rule," I'm talking about people who break it.
The problem of not following the no contact rule and how it makes your ex miss you
The no contact rule uses twoimportant psychological principlesthat makes it really effective.
- The principle of scarcity.
- reactance
Here's a quick crash course in those principles for those of you who want me to cut right to the chase.
The principle of scarcity:We are attracted to things that are scarce. The perceived attractiveness of these things increases when we learn that there aren't many of them left.
reactance:When our freedoms are taken away, people will do everything in their power to get that freedom back. So without contact, you're depriving your ex of the freedom to talk to you, and he's likely to respond to get that freedom back.
Together, these two concepts do much of the work in making the no contact rule so effective.
What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back?
Do the test
There is only one problem.
As mentioned above, 80% of thethe clientI work with the no contact rule.
Well what does that mean?
Well, it means if they set a goal of ignoring their ex for 30 days, they'll contact you on the 10th and then the 15th and then the 25th or they'll get back to you until the 30th.
"I have not finished contact"
NO….
They have not actually failed any contact.
dream example
Consider this scenario for a moment.
Suppose you have two people
Person A and Person B.
Well, these two people are identical in every way except one.
Person A sleeps 8 hours straight at night, while Person B still sleeps 8 hours but is interrupted 6 times and wakes up each time.
Who do you think will be energetically more productive the next day?
Person A, right?
Well, breaking the no contact rule early is like becoming Person B. They disrupt the natural process that the no contact rule is supposed to implement.
And to further reiterate this point, I would like to move on to my second point.
2. Make your ex believe that he has lost you forever
Last night while doing the dishes, my wife came up to me and started commenting about someone in our private Facebook group who wasn't exactly taking her advice. Well, what you need to know about my wife is that she's probably spending more.talk timeone on one with people like me (crazy right?)
While I understood that this particular person was not following his advice, he did say something very revealing.
What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back?
Do the test
I tried to explain to this person that our entire process is modeled after moving on.
Well you can read this statement and literally pull out one of these,
But I promise you that your observation is 100% correct. Look, I've been doing this for the better part of a decade and I've learned a lot in that time.
What always amazes me is the fact that women often fail when they try too hard to win their ex back. However, when pushed to a point where they give up, they begin to get results.
When I brought this up to my wife last night, she nodded in agreement, adding that you can't fake "moving on" and that's what you sometimes have to convince an ex to take you seriously.
I know it sounds so counterintuitive.
You came here looking for advice on how to get your ex back and we are just telling you to move on.
I try to teach people to see things differently.
Instead of looking at it as walking away from your ex, I'm saying you should look at it as "moving on without moving on" because make no mistake while we found a success thread on "moving on" is all we advise people to do, done with the intention of getting that person back.
The "follow without follow" problem
Like I said earlier, I've been doing this for a long time, which means I've seen people interact with our content.
I see the things they like to read about...
And the things they don't...
I also see what strategies people put into practice.
The big problem I see with "moving on without moving on" is the fact that no one does. We are slaves to our own desires and we desire our exes. To move on you have to work on not loving your ex and that is very difficult for people.
In fact, it's when men and women lose all hope that they start to see results, because that's when they essentially give up.
So here is my challenge for you.
During your non-contact timeinstead of obsessing over your exdo whatever it takes to pretend to continue. Make it look as authentic as possible. I would go into detail, but honestly I cover this extensively in my articles.social media.
3. Use subliminal messages
do you like ninjas
Yeah…
What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back?
Do the test
I have no idea why I'm talking about this, other than the fact that I think what I'm about to teach you is the closest thing to a "ninja technique" I've ever seen.
Subliminal messages are stimuli that are below our level of consciousness.
The idea is that if you can take an interest in your ex's charms that relate to you, you can hijack his mind without even having a direct conversation with him.
I will give you an example.
In 1999, a test was conducted to better understand subliminal messages.
The participants were present in a liquor store and the researchers found that when German music was played, sales of German wines increased, and when French music was played, sales of French wines increased.
So what happened here?
Well, the music served as a kind of catalyst, making the wine that was closest to the music more attractive to people.
How does this relate to the no contact rule?
One of the biggest fears people have when they start a no contact period is that they think their ex will forget them (I've never experienced that). However, if you are afraid of it, subliminal messages are your best friend.
Find your catalyst
In the example above, I talked about how music drives wine sales. In this example, "music" was a catalyst meant to arouse the stimuli below our awareness, which in turn makes certain types of wine more appealing.
What we need to do for you now is find a catalyst to use during the no contact rule so that you present a more attractive option to your ex when your no contact period is over. Oh, and it will have the added benefit of making your ex miss you more.
Here's the tricky part, your catalyst can't be the result of a conversation you had with your ex.
It has to be something that is a bit distant from you and sometimes even out of your control.
Any ideas?
The best I could find was to use social media.
It was nicewell documentedon this website that after a breakup, almost 90% of exes "stalk" their exes on social media (Facebook is the most popular social media site for this).
A few years ago someone in ourprivate facebook grouphe had the bright idea of using Facebook along with subliminal messages.
His theory was simple.
If I'm at the top of my ex-boyfriend's Facebook feed every time he logs in, it will force him to think about me constantly during the no contact rule, and eventually, he'll miss me so much that he'll want to see me.
His theory proved correct and he eventually got it back.
However, he had a few things to do first. Finally, to make sure he's on top of Facebook newsfeeds, he hired a social media company to improve the social signals of his posts so they're always at the top of their minds.
It was a brilliant catalyst.
You just have to find yours!
sources and citations
What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back?Do the test
Do the test
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123 thoughts on “How to make your ex miss you when there is no contact”
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Sara
December 20, 2021 at 3:41 am
Aid! I deleted my ex from social media to let my mind heal. Would it be too obvious to make my profile privacy public so you can see my posts (if you are stalking)?
Your website has given me a lot of peace of mind! Thanks again
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
December 22, 2021 at 11:54 p.m.
Hi Sarah, it's not too obvious as long as your social media posts are UG and positive. Be careful not to spam or change your patterns too quickly.
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Bhavin
(Video) Make Your Ex Miss You in 10 DAYS with THIS Powerful Tool!November 22, 2021 at 4:07 am
Well me and my ex where we were in a long distance relationship for about 9 months, in March she broke up with me and gave me the reasons for my behavior and her failed relationship in the past. Well I really tried to hug her and get back from her but in the month of April I decided to let her go and I didn't contact her for 4-5 months. I didn't contact her until her birthday came around and I wanted her to reply fast and we started talking again. He confessed that he regrets leaving me and he wanted to get back together so we started dating again but after 1-2 months he withdraws again and says we are best best friends as a couple but for me it was hard and we had two discussions on this topic. Well I really love this girl, I don't know what to do, we both have a very good connection and I really want to spend the rest of my life with her...
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Bethany
April 3, 2021 at 7:21 am
I was with this guy. Mainly physical, but we also talk a lot. In early March I called him too many times and after a week he told me why he wasn't answering and that he needed space. I kept calling and texting him so many times that he ended up blocking my phone. Then I called back too from the house phone. From time to time he would text me to stop calling him. I wasn't listening and at the end of March he called me and said he would unlock me when he's ready but for all I've done it's going to be a long time. I stopped reporting. But I'm really scared that he won't come back because we were friends and sometimes friends with benefits. We are still friends on certain apps.
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Felisha
December 5, 2020 at 3:20 p.m.
Hi Chris, I just broke up with my boyfriend a week ago and would like to do the 30 days NC,
But I have a question, should I be the one to text him first after the NC or should I wait for him to text? And what am I going to do if he doesn't? -
CEE Team Member: Shaunna
December 14, 2020 at 9:27 p.m.
Hi Felisha, if you want him back, you need to contact your ex and start following the show.
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CJ
December 3, 2020 at 1:52 am
So my ex and I were together for about 6 months. We've known each other for almost 5 years and have always had a connection, but we haven't dated (long story), we met this summer and started dating and dating a lot. Etc. We didn't fight much but the few times we did were UGLY. She gets very angry and I would end up crying. I always wanted to sit down and set ground rules for our fights and how to fight fair and avoid that, but it didn't happen. We went out one night and had a lot of fun, but then we got into a lot of fights, we were really tired, and there was alcohol involved. It sucked, but instead of staying, I went home and had to work in a few hours. He called me on the way home and we ended the conversation pretty much after hanging up. The next day I sent him a long text and something I said (misunderstanding) triggered him and he broke up with me. We kept talking, I went to his house that night and he didn't want to get back together because he felt like we would never get over our arguments. We still hang out a decent amount of times, but not that much, we don't kiss, etc. The night he broke up with me, he cried and said how sad he was, but that he had to be like that. He doesn't show his emotions well and he's been hurt by many people, so there are thick walls. I was at his house two weeks ago and he was super grumpy. I just wanted to talk about everything and he wanted to watch TV and he didn't feel like doing anything else. He hurt me because he was going through a lot (two on the brink of death, health problems, he was in the hospital, a lot of stress from my job, etc.) and I used my very little free time to go see him and it was him. . it doesn't matter he told me we had to take our time because he was crying. I told him I wanted to sit down and talk and work out our problems (which are pretty minor, we get along very well most of the time and are very close) he refused to budge and had such a wall that he didn't show any emotion. and he told me to go away. He said we could sit down and talk when he was free again. He was beyond hurt. I love him so much. But I went home and didn't contact him. Not even two days later, he grabs it. When I left I left him a love letter that he had written to her earlier and that he wanted to give her. I thought maybe he thought things through. He asked me how he was, etc. I didn't reply for three days. I don't know why, but he wasn't sure what to do. On Thanksgiving Day I wrote back and wished him a happy Thanksgiving. He told .e about something funny that happened and after a few messages he stopped opening my messages. He didn't open it for days, even when he did. Unanswered. I contacted him a few days later and asked how he was doing. He did not answer. Then a few days later he asked me how my surgery went. He didn't have it yet and I told him that etc. He stopped responding. So I texted him about something fun and he texted me back very short and cold. I tried to call him because I was dying to talk to him before my surgery, things are not expected to go well. He completely ignored me.
Her mother and I are friends (not close), she invited me to paint with her and said that she was just drinking a lot. She does not display her emotions well and is more likely to be angry than sad or emotional.
I'm trying to stay out of touch and work where I am right now. I am struggling with my very difficult surgery (it has been postponed) and the holidays and I would really like to talk to him and work things out. I don't know if I'll hear from him again. I know he cares, but he shows it very badly. Am I out of touch until he gets in touch? Or can I register? He is also going back to school 3.5 hours away without any vehicle and I don't have two consecutive days off together so he worries that if I wait too long we won't be okay.
I would appreciate any advice or perspective on this. I know space can be good. I know I've had a lot of hopelessness lately and he's on a rough patch with where he's at in his life. -
CEE Team Member: Shaunna
December 23, 2020 at 6:13 p.m.
Hi CJ, from what you said above, you can start contacting your ex once you complete 30 days of no contact.
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Lisa Bailey
17 NOV 2020 at 6:26 am
What if you need to change your number while you're out of contact? (He leaves the country) Should I just trick him into thinking he's no longer available, or contact him that his number has changed?
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
November 17, 2020 at 10:53 p.m.
You can reach your NC with your new number
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vicky
2 November 2020 at 20:48
What if you re-add your ex on social media during NC? This is broken?
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
November 2, 2020 at 9:02 p.m.
Yeah, that doesn't break contact.
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Juan Smith
October 23, 2020 at 7:00 am
My ex and I recently broke up, she still likes my posts even if we don't talk, that's a good sign.
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
October 24, 2020 at 9:15 p.m.
I wouldn't say it's a bad sign.
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RK
July 26, 2020 at 2:55 p.m.
Hi, my ex and I had a huge argument on July 1st. We stayed in an LDR (I'm Canadian, he's Mexican). He said he just wanted friendship but he said love things to me and we met in November 2019. I'm NC on the 25th. I was mad because he was distant and I started to suspect he was with other women. I said some pretty nasty things to him and now I feel bad... but so does he. I'm not sure, can NC work in this situation? I only have him on WhatsApp and he has not deleted or blocked me. Thank you
(Video) 4 Powerful Ways to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You -
CEE Team Member: Shaunna
August 2, 2020 at 10:03 am
Hi RK, yes you need to do the longer version of NC for 45 days and then start reporting with the lyrics that Chris suggests in his articles.
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Maria Garcia
July 24, 2020 at 3:14 p.m.
Hi my ex boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me a little over a week ago it was the worst feeling ever. We always had a good time together and created many happy memories and we were inseparable. I had no complaints about him and the only problem we had was that we had argued a lot and I was losing my temper and he hated the way I approached things. I tried to keep my composure when he burst into tears and he told me how sorry he was for taking me home that night and he had a hard time saying goodbye. A few days after he changed his relationship status and profile photo on Facebook but kept our photos, I got really scared and started thinking the same day and called him. He explained to me how he thought it was better to do what I did. I'm under no illusions when I see this. I explained how he felt, then he apologized and said he didn't mean to hurt me. It was hard for me to get off the phone, I thought I could convince him but he got more irritated. Later that day, my anxiety was killing me, so I filled his phone with text messages and called him several times. Then he blocked me on the phone. I went to Facebook to text him that I was sorry for bothering him by letting him know that I will be working on myself and just to reply to my message he sent the next morning he replied and said he was sorry he didn't get back to me. , but that he thought it would be better if we didn't keep in touch, that he had made his decision and that he was happy to know that I took care of myself but please respect his decision. So he was heartbroken, but I also realized that he shouldn't beg and that would only push him further away, so I didn't respond and started the no contact rule and haven't contacted him since. It's been about a week since I last contacted after 3 days of no contact. I started posting on social media and changed my appearance. And I changed my profile picture as well as my relationship status. The next day I see that he had deleted all our photos from both Instagram and Facebook. I have followed the no contact rule but I am very afraid of when and if he will contact me or maybe he really is done with our relationship. I love him with all my heart and I know he does too. I really want him to realize that I am working on myself. I want him to come back. I could really use some advice.
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
August 8, 2020 at 10:40 p.m.
Hello Maria, if you work on yourself and control your anxiety better, then you are on the right track. Make sure you use social media to show you're living life, etc. and then when your ex gets curious, he'll want to see what you're doing to yourself. Think of it as a window into how you're doing without him.
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tiffany bush
July 22, 2020 at 00:40
My girlfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago. I haven't tried any contact...probably 10x but in the end I give up. One day she called me 149 times! We ended up breaking up because she kicked me out to sleep with another girl. I haven't been home since then. I rented a new apartment and have been heartbroken ever since. He's still in touch with that other girl. She told me that the reason she did what she did was because she was too hurt by my actions 2 years ago and she should have left me then. She literally said that my actions had consequences and that was a consequence! I still have stuff at her house that she doesn't want to give me because she's "done with my shit and she'll decide when I can get it." It's not the belongings that concern me, they claim them and make this relationship work like it should have before this happened. How can I successfully not contact when she keeps exploiting me (usually to blame me for something or to tell me that she misses me) and I have blocked her on social media? Aid!!
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
August 8, 2020 at 10:46 p.m.
Hi Tiffany, my honest opinion is that after she treats you, you should move on! But following a No Contact where they blow up your phone requires real self control, you literally ignore them, you can silence their number so it doesn't alert you when they call you, it just lets you know there's a missed call. There is an option to mute her on social media etc. Honestly you just have to be strong and stick with it, I also suggest you stick to a 45 day because she jumped into bed with someone else right away.
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Rooney
June 24, 2020 at 7:29 p.m.
I started nc... but the first day when his usual message came in about what I was doing... I told him politely that I needed to process our break and focus on myself. To which he replied yes... Take care and if you need anything I'm just a phone call away. And after that we don't talk anymore. it's only been a day
but i doubt...
Did I make a mistake in saying it? Will nc continue to work on it? -
CEE Team Member: Shaunna
June 27, 2020 at 8:48 p.m.
Hello Runi, it is important that you use your social networks to show that you are fine and that you are not upset. And stay with an NC for 45 days, and that includes social media stalking on your part.
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spar
April 28, 2020 at 4:39 am
Hola
So me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago. We were together for 7 years, we broke up earlier because I was going to school and had an overwhelming schedule and when I came home on the weekend I was exhausted and just needed space to relax. We broke up for the first time in ~6 months. We tried it again in the fall semester of my senior year. It didn't work out, we were fighting a lot, he was mad at me for not being available and I was mad at him for not giving up since I was taking 18 credit hours (Biology major). Eventually he started ignoring me, I chased him hard, sent him sad love letters, took a 24 day break from contact. I called due to the COVID-19 outbreak on the 25th, my university postponed our graduation ceremony. I had reserved tickets for him and his brother, I felt it was enough 'emergency' to tell him. We talked for a few weeks, I was really able to heal in those 24 days. We finally met one day, rather by accident, when I mentioned it to him he told me that he wanted us to be friends, he wasn't looking for a relationship right now, he was concentrating on work, let me focus on myself, blah blah blah.
So I looked him in the eye very calmly and said, "I respect your reasons for ending things, I understand that you never want a relationship with me again, but I'm not JUST going to be your friend, I want more than that." So if you just want to "just be friends" please respect my wishes and refrain from contacting me for a while. I want to get over this. If you change your mind, let me know."
After that we hugged briefly and he watched me get into my car and drive away. I looked ahead and didn't look back (damn I don't know how I didn't cry). That night he blew up my phone, he invited me out for coffee and I said yes. Then 2 weeks later, COVID kicked in, so many people on his team were laid off, he totally went nuts. I mentioned coffee again, he said he forgot a few hours later, I asked him if he was still interested in being more than friends.
He said: "I'm not looking for a relationship right now, so no."
He followed up with "he's too busy, I don't know what I want". I didn't reply and he texted me an hour later and said, "Look, you're not going to talk to me!"
So I said, "I mean, you said no, what exactly do you want?"
He said "I don't know" and I didn't answer. That was April 23, 2020. I thought I might do NC again, I disabled all my social media accounts, muted our group chat with our mutual friends. My goal is to cut me out of his life completely, see if he misses me, and maybe by then he'll make up his mind.
I'm sad and confused, I feel like he's confused too, but maybe that's giving him more credit than he deserves.My final thoughts and questions: I am expected to graduate in May, it has been postponed due to COVID, but I plan to take pictures in my graduation gown + cap and submit announcements. It's also my birthday in May (10 days after graduation). What should I say or do when he responds with "Congratulations", "Happy Birthday", etc.? A friend of mine told me to be short with "thank you" and to let him talk. I'm really not sure what to do, I miss him so much. I also feel that there is still a lot of love between us and my gut tells me that it is not over yet. Any advice would be great (sorry it's so long!)
I love all the work you do!
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
May 5, 2020 at 9:53 p.m.
Hey Sav, so if he talks to you during NC then just ignore him. If she doesn't say the words that she wants them to get back together, she will break NC for no reason. Work on your Holy Trinity and be as positive online as you can
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Steve
Jan 9, 2020 @ 1:24am
After 15 years, my wife and I will be imposing a no contact order the day after we file for separation. I love her very much and she says that I have become a much better man in recent years, but her hardened heart won't let me in. I was a mean and abusive husband to her and my stepsons from 2005 to 2010. she Tried to get me to therapy etc, she tried to communicate but didn't know what she was talking about. About 4 years later, when we lived together, I was passive from day to day without getting the message that she was ready to go. Finally she left. I was devastated, but still passively thought that she would find herself as she said and was very comfortable having me available as a husband and father to her and the children. At the end of 2017 we were intermittently in the same house. He had an Ea last year, I found out about it and it was my catalyst. I have been counseling for years and she has seen the changes, but her heart was so hard she couldn't let me in. We are now communicating on a level that we should always have as a couple. A day late and a dollar short on my part. So let's start with the lockdown. Pray for us. I hope you bring something. She says that she loves me and who I am now, but she won't let me or any other man into her heart. And again.
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
Jan 11, 2020 @ 5:48am
Good luck and I hope it works. Remember, if you need any guidance, always post here and we are here to help you the best we can.
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Sofia
December 11, 2019 at 5:21 p.m.
Hello Chris,
My boyfriend of 1.7 years broke up with me a few days ago because he said he wanted to be alone and work on himself. He said that he can't be in a relationship right now and that it's about him and not me because I'm the best friend and all. We almost broke up three weeks before this breakup because I was upset that he wasn't giving me 100%, but it wasn't until I found out for myself that he completed a few things and had some issues with it, so I realized that I was for on top of him, pushed to the limit to demand 100% when he couldn't even give it to himself. I told him that it's okay if he's not fully there and that he needs to communicate and learn to open up. After today's break up, we hung out together last night chatting and kissing on his paddle board in the moonlight and I stayed over at his house but the next morning he said it was really hard but he felt it was Mandatory right now for him to be solo. Of course after that I felt hurt and upset and started the NC, but I don't know if it's worth it if he just wants to be alone. please answer i need help(Video) 3 Steps To Make Your Ex Miss You [100% Result!] -
CEE Team Member: Shaunna
December 15, 2019 at 6:11 p.m.
Hi Sophia, so yes, no contact is worth it as he has asked for a space that you must respect and give him while at the same time showing him that you will not casually wait and beg and beg for him to come back. If you can settle down and live your life like you're not upset and just make it right, that will have a bigger impact on him, then just calling him and crying because you want him back will do the trick. Rather, he will make him curious why you don't ask him for another chance and get him to talk to you more.
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jessi
December 10, 2019 at 6:18 am
Hi, I currently live with my ex, we have been on and off on both sides for the last year due to infidelity. About 6 months ago I moved and went to NC just to text 7 days later and ran back. He promised to change me and take me to therapy if I came home. For the first few months or so he was true to his word and we even went to a few counseling sessions together and became intimate again. Just when I felt we were making progress in our sessions, he backed out of his commitments to me. He no longer participates in counseling with me and becomes very defensive when the subject is brought up. I also recently found out that he was looking at and saving ads and escort numbers on his phone (escorts were the source of his infidelity). I feel trapped in this house. Should I stay on vacation and do this NC or should I just go?
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
December 14, 2019 at 11:50 p.m.
Jessie, if you have the opportunity to leave the house, do it. Move over and explain that she won't accept you going back to her old ways. The problem with getting back together quickly after a breakup is that the issues aren't resolved before you get back together, while it's good that you went to couples therapy, you clearly haven't worked hard enough to put off wanting to make things up. things he does to hurt the relationship
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Caroline
December 8, 2019 at 11:48 p.m.
My situation is weird, we met four weeks ago, we've only been together for three weeks but we saw each other almost every day, we texted and talked constantly. On the fourth day we both said I love you, first him and then he continued. I fell hard for him and so did he, but last week he said I was an emotional wreck and we went in too fast and his feelings had faded. He said that he was sorry and that he hoped he wouldn't regret it. It's been a week and I haven't contacted him, but we're still friends on FB, Snapchat, Instagram, etc., but there hasn't been any contact there either. I contacted his sister because he was very hurt... this man told me that I was the chosen one and we both believe that God brought us together. She said he fell and didn't heal from her last relationship, which ended in August. He didn't want to get back together with her, just the end of this relationship that he was still dealing with...I'm so afraid he's going to shrug and move on because it's only been three weeks...it's been so profound for me and I want him to just not know what to do so he can see that we can try again. We're both in our 50s...and I miss him and care about him...I want him to know I'm here...but after reading all over the internet about North Carolina rules, I haven't. His sister said that he had nothing to do with me and that he had something to do with healing... what can I do so that he doesn't lose sight of me?...
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
December 11, 2019 at 8:23 p.m.
Hi Caroline, there is a honeymoon phase where we are busy meeting someone new and we think we "love" them. Actually, it's just lust. What I think is how they both felt at the beginning of this relationship. It was brief, so it means you can stay in touch for 21 days and then reach out to him when you're in a better place and ready to talk again, but you should approach things like a friend, not an ex. with the.
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Carol
December 4, 2019 at 11:50
Hola,
My boyfriend broke up with me a little over a week ago. I haven't heard from him since. He deleted two photos of me from his Instagram but left the other four open. I took it as a positive sign since he deleted all the ex girlfriend photos of him and me during the last break up. We used to live together, but now I moved away for work and we were far apart. I want to work things out with him, but I'm not sure if he would consider it. He was working with a 30 day NC rule. During this time I am very stressed because he is dating other women and I don't know how to deal with it. I'll be back in the same city with him for a few days over the holidays. So should I try to see him or just not contact him when I'm in town? Normally I always texted him a lot and now I don't do anything to communicate with him so I hope that shows him that I have really worked to change for the better. any advice? How do I know if this break is permanent?
Gracias.
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
December 6, 2019 at 8:33 p.m.
Hi Carol, no you don't call me when you're in town, make him wonder why you haven't tried to see him. Follow the schedule and stick to the plan and you may have your best chance of getting him back, but you must take positive steps and do as you are told, starting with not receiving or responding to him during no contact.
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London
November 9, 2019 at 4:26 PM m.
We were together for five years. I am not even sure who ended the relationship or why we have been arguing about many things and we both feel the other is totally unsympathetic and wrong and should apologize for being no contact on day 35 out of 45. I haven't heard anything (and I'm still blocked on WhatsApp) but my son (whose stepmom is) kept in touch with him and went to dinner with him and bought him a nice gift. I hope that his keeping things normal for my daughter is his way of keeping the door open for the relationship to rekindle (a lot of men close the door on kids when they close the door on mom, right?). On one hand, he is stubborn and afraid of rejection. But on the other hand, it worries me that I assume he still cares about me because he still cares about my daughter, when in reality it might just be that he's just a decent guy who understands that none of this is my daughter's fault, but he's happier alone. As time goes by, the better I feel about myself, my life, and him as a person, the more I wonder if I missed the deadline to apply. Should I remain contactless for the next 10 days to give myself the best chance of success?
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
November 9, 2019 at 8:21 p.m.
Hello London, yes, continue your NC until the 45th and contact him as a friend. I know you blocked certain media, but you can contact with a normal text, not whatsapp? Or even a Facebook messenger. Just make sure you don't talk about missing him, the relationship, or the breakup.
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Casey
November 8, 2019 at 00:08
Hi Chris, my ex and I were exclusively together for five months. 3 weeks ago he suddenly asked for a place after we had some discontent and I accepted. He told me that he would like to see me change and take care of each other for now. I had insecurities in rshp as i had a failed marriage not too long ago. He was very sweet and loving to me and he made an effort to prioritize me and find me every weekend. We also call each other affectionate.
However, due to my insecurities, I sometimes "pushed" it. And once I found out that on his Instagram profile he was adding new girls and getting to know them. He claimed that he was a mutual friend. When he added another new girl three weeks ago, I confronted him about it and speaking of the dissatisfaction we had, it was the last straw he mentioned to 'go back to friends'.
Still, he asked to meet a week later, but it was his first time going out after lunch. I knew that she was already seeing someone, and that day we were also kind of sad because I broke down. After that we didn't talk for a week. I wanted to try NC, but since it was her birthday on 10/28, I decided to text her to celebrate. She had already expressed her interest in celebrating with me on this day two weeks ago.
We went to this lovely place for lunch on her birthday. I dressed as best I could and smiled at my best helmsman, who probably knew he didn't want to spend the rest of the day with me. We chatted over lunch, but he was too busy on his phone because he was probably getting a lot of birthday wishes. After lunch he said that he wanted to go to his house (which I didn't believe but I accepted and prepared myself so that he would leave only a good memory that day). After that, when he was leaving, I texted him and sent him the photos we took. I said, "I wish him luck and the best and told him that if he doesn't have a girlfriend yet, he hopes he can help with the party too." can My birthday as a friend. I told him to be careful and put a happy smiley on it. Cox, I just wanted to end things on a positive note.
Later at the same time I posted on our own personal fb (just for the two of us that we created). That's what I told him: "Thank you for the wonderful trip so far and I sincerely appreciate that I was glad to spend it with him, even if it was just a brief celebration."
Since then on 28.10. she never responded. I thought at least she would respond. My pillow and shoes are still in his car, which he didn't pick up after me to take with me.
One day later. She suddenly she posted the photo of her birthday party on her Instagram. She rarely posts on ig just once for a while. She captioned something very sad and ended by thanking the "new girl" (who starts with her name) for the photo credit. My heart sank when I saw the photo.
Since then I have been doing NC and also enrolling in new courses. Cox, I've been so depressed for the past two weeks that it's been tearing my soul apart. I'm not sure if I should continue with NC in this case, although he was the one who didn't respond. I expect nothing more than at least a positive conclusion. Please advise me, thanks!
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CEE Team Member: Shaunna
November 8, 2019 at 9:32 p.m.
Hey, you're doing the right thing, but sometimes these things take time. So keep doing the same things you've been doing and posting positive things on your social media. This means that if he thinks of you and checks on you, he will see that you are doing very well in your life without him, after you have NC, you can communicate with him, but do it as a friend that you will meet again. Don't expect to pick up where you left off
(Video) How To Make Your Ex Miss You (Very Fast)
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FAQs
How do I make my ex think about me constantly? ›
- Use A No Contact Rule.
- Adopt A Holy Trinity Social Media Strategy.
- Implement The Zeigarnik Effect.
- Go On Dates With Other People.
- Show Them They Aren't The Center Of Your World Anymore.
- Infiltrate Their Sphere Of Influence.
- Empathize With Them Through Attachment Styles.
If you really want to drive your ex crazy, ignore them completely. We're not talking about ignoring them if they're right in your face. However, if they text or call or reach out at all, ignore them at first. Make sure they're good and jealous before you reply again.
How do you make your ex want you back quickly? ›- Give Them Space. ...
- Apply the No Contact Rule (Yes, Even on Social Media) ...
- Become a Person You Can Be Proud Of. ...
- Make Some Positive Changes in Your Appearance. ...
- Make Some Positive Changes in Your Mentality. ...
- Allow Yourself to Grieve for a While. ...
- Write a Journal.
In order to attract your ex back, it's important to focus on positive thoughts and emotions. This means staying positive and optimistic about the future, that is the only way. It might be difficult at first, but if you can focus on the good things, you'll eventually attract a new relationship.
Does my ex want me back? ›- They Often Contact You. ...
- They Try To Share Their Present Life Updates With You. ...
- They Show Subtle Jealousy. ...
- They Try To Make You Jealous. ...
- They Want To Be Friends With You. ...
- They Wish To Meet You. ...
- They Find Excuses To Talk To You. ...
- They Remember Your Important Days And Text You.